Forum Home → Discussion → Access to justice and advice sector issues → Thread
Pasties, smoke and mirrors
New blog post from Terry, Lasa CEO, on the Budget announcement of an extra £20m for not-for-profit advice services (and pasties, of course).
Where I work in Bootle (aka Brutal Bootle) there is a joke that runs as follows.
Q. What do you call a child’s dummy in Bootle?
A. A Greggs sausage roll.
And, the very idea of George Osbourne in Greggs makes me howl with laughter. What do you think people like him have pastry chefs for?
Hot of the presses, six and a half minutes ago:
Chaos was brought to the high streets of Britain today as the country ground to a standstill as people queued for miles outside the nations pasty shops. Bakers were overwhelmed with demand as their ovens went into overdrive trying to keep up with demand while people were seen running down the street with armfuls of assorted pastries. In one high street in Wigan, police were called to an incident involving two young women wrestling with a sausage roll. Young children were clearly traumatized at the sight of flakes of pastry and bits of sausage meat tumbling to the ground. “It was awful” one bystander said, children were wandering around crying and totally bewildered as lunch time came and went and yet Greggs was nowhere in sight”.
One disgruntled man three miles back in the queue told this reporter that it was all the fault of the Unions. He went on “I blame those united tanker drivers, demanding wage rises of £250,000 a year while the country’s disabled are being sold into slavery is an absolute disgrace. We should be grateful to the Chancellor; he’s doing a marvellous job trying to put the country back together after Gordon Brown gave all our money to China. Anyone going on strike should be taken out and shot in front their families, just like in Korea. They don’t put up with this kind of nonsense there I can tell ya”.
David Cruddas is 103.
edited for grammar
[ Edited: 30 Mar 2012 at 01:57 pm by nevip ]I look forward with some trepidation to the inevitable visits of Osborne et al to either Greggs or Cornwall so they can be photgraphed eating a pasty!
I can tell you for nothing, my mum makes the best pasties in west Cornwall, bar none.
Even hotter off the presses;
A government spokesperson has just announced that;
“Given the price and scarcity of petrol the Secretary Of State is going to amend the regulations concerning capital for means tested benefits so that any petrol in a jerrycan in a claimant’s garage is to be treated as capital. The petrol will be valued at is market value, what a willing buyer would give for it for a quick sale”
The spokesperson went on to add that “this measure will produce savings to the exchequer of 3.25 million billion pounds and because of these savings we will not now have to implement the VAT rise on pasties and sausage rolls. Mr Osborne and Mr Cameron will now be able to travel to Bootle, Cornwall and Greggs shops without fear”