Legal aid.  Who needs it?  The debate they didn’t report.

Proceedings in the House of Commons, Wednesday 2nd of November 2011.

Jonathon Danglybits: In supporting this bill it is important to remember that legal aid is not a right but a privilege conferred on the great unwashed by the benevolent rulers of this green and pleasant land in a moment of mellowness, of the kind that follows some foie gras and a half bottle of claret….yes I’ll give way to my honourable friend the member for Sunderland West.

Barry Brickie: I thank my honourable friend for giving way.  He says that but is it not equally important to remember that legal aid is a lifeline for thousands of our poorest citizens that enables them to exercise important rights in pursuit of justice and that by denying those rights he is nowt but a reet tosser?

JD: I thank my honourable friend for his timely intervention but would he not also agree with me that he is nothing but a complete buffoon masquerading as an idiot?  Justice schmustice!  Is he having a laugh?  Who does he think is paying for all this nonsense?  My brother runs a highly successful law firm.  Does he need to waste public money by taking on legal aid work?  No.  His clients are respectable people who have had the gumption to get on their bikes and claim their inheritance…yes, I’ll give way

BB: I thank my honourable friend for giving way but does he not agree with me that he is a complete and utter pillock and would he like to step outside?

JD: Mr Deputy Speaker, I think that my honourable friend has taken leave of his senses.  Verily, I challenge him to a duel at dawn….I’ll give way.

Eric Knuckles: Mr Deputy Speaker, I thank my honourable friend for giving way   Does he not think, like I do, that it is the fiscal irresponsibility of the last government that has brought us to where we are and that my honourable friend, the member for Sunderland West is nothing short of a cretin who is going to get a good hiding one of these days.

JD: I thank my honourable friend for that intervention and I do agree with him.  Indeed I would go further.  Not only is my honourable friend, the member for Sunderland West a complete cretin he also bears a striking resemblance to an effin’ imbecile.  I wouldn’t go out alone on a dark night if I were him…yes, I’ll give way.

BB: I thank my honourable friend for giving way but it seems to me, Mr Deputy Speaker, that he forgets the role of the banks in creating this financial black hole.  Does he not agree with me that he is a total moron and a chinless wonder whose mother can’t even remember who his father was?  And I will be only too glad to meet him round the back of the bike sheds.

Mr Deputy Speaker:  Order!  Order!

At this point the House erupted and proceedings were suspended.

edited to correct typo

I think you give too much credit to Danglybits there Paul, he’s not half as sharp witted unfortunately…....

Very good though.