“We are currently experiencing unexpectedly high call volumes”

Really?

At 8am on the dot?

How do you even know that already?

Grrr.

Sounds like someone’s not switched off the answermachine!

One of my room 101 things.

“No, you are not experiencing unexpectedly high call volumes. You’re expecting call volumes which relate directly to the need of people to contact you which relates in turn to the number of claimants and potential claimants. You know what these figures are and you know that it would be costly to actually pay for enough lines and people on the end of them so that everyone got through within a reasonable time. So, you did a bit of modelling and plucked some figures out of the air approximating to what happens in other call centres as regards acceptable wait times and you decided to go with those. “Other call centres” not being a model of good practice that anyone bar DWP, HMRC and HMCTS would think of as such. The main thing you have in common with those other call centres is that they’re largely held up for ridicule as examples of how not to do things and they don’t have meaningful or competent complaints procedures.” Their unit costs are also largely on the rise as it becomes apparent that “unexpected” things are happening every day.

It’s Friday and I’m ranty. Give me chocolate.

“You may prefer to call back later” gets to me every time - as if it will be any different.