Competition

Some of you may have seen the news item about a memory stick being sold as an Anti-5G Quantum Machine branded as the “5GBioShield” incorporating proprietary holographic nano-layer catalyst technology. See https://www.theregister.co.uk/2020/05/28/anti_5g_usb_stick/).

This competition is for the suggestion of the most creative use of the phrase “holographic nano-layer catalyst technology” in an appeal submission.

No prizes I’m afraid but the accolades of your colleagues and perhaps the odd smile. :-)

Very good!

My entry: ““I would humbly submit that the HCP assessment was about as effective and reliable at determining the appellants eligibility for PIP as a holographic nano-layer catalyser is at blocking 5G signals”.

Evidence of how my client’s paranoia affects his ability to make complex budgeting decisions is that he is using all his income to purchase holographic nano-layer catalyst technology instead of buying food or paying bills.

I submit that my client should be awarded 9 points under descriptor 5(d) Cannot single-handedly use a suitable keyboard or mouse., as evidenced by their inability to use the holographic nano-layer catalyst technology.

Thing that struck me is that the line is in perfect primus paeon*, almost as if it’s part of a song.  I’m picturing Rex Harrison striding round a lab explaining his invention to an uncomprehending Audrey Hepburn

* DA-da-da-da DA-da-da-da

I’ll be singing that in my head for the rest of the day now, thanks Peter….

The fact that my client bought a 5GBioShield incorporating proprietary holographic nano-layer catalyst technology, is concrete evidence that he is extremely vulnerable to bat shit crazy conspiracy theories and provides a pima facie case that he is totally paranoid and has taken leave of his senses.  Therefore, I submit that his presence in the work place would pose a significant risk to the safety of others.

We respectfully disagree with the HCP’s conclusion that the appellant could prepare a simple meal, manage medication, and make complex budgeting decisions by using holographic nano-layer catalyst technology, no matter how well-established Atos may regard it.

The Secretary of State’s basis for superseding the appellant’s mobility component is that he was seen strolling around Barnard Castle. His explanation is that these were exceptional circumstances and that in any event he was being led by the science, namely holographic nano-layer catalyst technology.