I have felt for some time that certain senior JCP opfficials didn't really have their heart in the job - below is a reply that another of us received in reply to a question relating to taking documents into a local JCP office......the Author at least deserves a few brownie points.....




"I've now spoken with policy colleagues regarding the process. They confirmed that the process as explained by the local partnership manager is correct, however they agreed that the reply is a reiteration of guidance and therefore does not necessarily reflect reality".

Ah...I wonder if it was drafted by the same person (or computer) who came come up with the following confidence inspiring phrase, now appearing on the back of JCP leaflets:

'We have done our best to make sure that the information in this
leaflet is correct as of October 2007. However, we cannot promise
that there are no mistakes in this leaflet'

Precisely the kind of caveat I'd like to add to all my entries on these forums.

"I think I know what I'm talking about but am not making any promises."

CC

A client of mine received the following from the DWP the other day. He has since ran away to live in a monastery.

"Your decision notice is enclosed. Please read the following notes carefully then seal and bury them in a concrete bunker a minimum of 30 feet below ground.

Dispute period: The 20 days left out of the month from when you finally receive the decision notice for you to contact the Department only to be told that the decision is correct and although you can appeal it would really be a waste of everyone’s time.

Supersession: A good night out on the ale.

Supersession (alternative): A stupid word that no one ever uses in real life.

Revision: Homework.

Appeal: Owzat!

Claimant: Any member of the great unwashed who has the temerity to ask us for money.

Relevant benefit: Any benefit listed in parts 2-5 of the SSC&B Act 1992, which is subject to Part 1 of the Grovelling Persons Act 1946, which is itself subject to section 12 of the Do As Your Told Act 1997.

Termination: You don’t want to know!

Disclaimer. The DWP bears no responsibility whatsoever for any errors contained in this guide. If you are stupid enough to believe a single word we say then don’t expect any sympathy from us and if you ever seek legal redress then we will send the boys round. Have a nice day! "

It's all the crazy doublespeak world of the DWP.

Jobcentre = where you go if you don't have a job.

Overpayment = demand for monies owed

Contact Centre = somewhere you ring and wait in an automated queue for 20 minutes

Budgeting Loan = subtract £20 from your weekly budget


Do you fail or pass a Personal Capabily Assessment?


Repeat ad finitum

Welfare to Work = "That will be £7k worth of DLA back please 'cos you must have had a miracle change in your care needs"

Yet another employment related case we will win... so no bonus for the CFT again.